• Full title: Ancient Tales of the Dwemer, Part V: Song of the Alchemists
  • Author: Marobar Sul
  • Value: 25 GoldIcon
  • Weight: 1 WeightIcon

A book in the eleven set long series called Ancient Tales of the Dwemer.


  • Permanently increases Alchemy skill

Known locationsEdit


The Song of the Alchimists
Anchient Tales of the Dwemer,
Part V
By Marobar Sul

When King Mareneon's

alchemist had to leave his


After a laboratory

experiment that yielded


The word went out that the

King did want

A new savant
To mix his potions and


But he declared he would

only choose

--Page 2--

A fellow who knew the

tricks and the tools.

The King refused to hire on

more fools.

After much deliberation,

discussions, and debates,

The King picked two

well-learned candidates.

lanthippus Minthurk and

Umphatic Faer,

An ambitions pair,
Vied to prove which one

was the best.

Said the King, "There will be

a test."

They went to a large

chamber with herbs, gems,


--Page 3--

Pots, Measuring cups, all

under high crystalline domes.

"Make me a tonic that will

make me invisible,"

Laughed the King in a tone

some would call risible.

So Umphatic Faer and

lanthippus Minthurk

Began to work,
Mincing herbs, mashing

metal, refining strange oils,

Cautiously setting their

cauldrons to burbling boils,

Each on his own, sending

mixing bowls mixing,

Sometimes pecking to see

what the other was fixing.

--Page 4--

After they had worked for

nearly three-quarters an


Both lanthippus Minthurk

and Umphatic Faer

Winked at the other, certain

he won.

Said King Maraneon,
"Now you must taste the

potions you've wrought,

Take a spoon and sample it

right from your pot."

Minthurk vanished as his

lips touched his brew,

But Faer tasted his and

remained apparent in view.

"You think you mixed silver,

blue diamonds, and yellow

--Page 5--


The King laughed, "Look up,

Faer, up to the ceiling glass,

The light falling makes the

ingredients you choose

Quite different hues."
"What do you get," asked

the floating voice, bold,

"Of a potion of red

diamonds, blue grass, and


"By [Dwemer God]," said

Faer, his face in a wince,

"I've made a potion to

fortify my own intelligence."

--Page 6--

Publisher's Note:

This poetry is so clearly in the

style of Gor Felim that it

really does not need any

commentary. Note the simple

rhyming scheme of AA/BB/CC,

the sing-song but

purposefully clumsy meter,

and the recurring jokes at the

obviously absurd names,

Umphatic Faer and lanthippus

Minthurk. The final joke that

the stupid alchemist invents a

potion to make himself

smarter by pure accident

would have appealed to the

anti-intellectualism of

audiences in the interregnum

--Page 7--

period, but would certainly be

rejected by the Dwemer.

Note that even "Marobar Sul"

refuses to name any Dwemer

gods. The Dwemer religion, if

it can even be called that, is

one of the most complex and

difficult puzzles of their


Over the millennia, the song

became a popular tavern song

in High Rock before eventually

disappearing from everything

but scholarly books. Much like

the Dwemer themselves.

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